It is a hummingbird, and now I have a feeder. I wait for the next sighting.
Bumping up against loneliness tonight, though it’s been a pretty good day of clearing the living room bit by bit, and getting shelves cut for the big bookcase. New friend BH and I texted much of the afternoon, laughing, but now I’m feeling withdrawn and like nobody understands me or really wants to know what I’m about. Resentful, sorry. But still, delicious to be home alone in the dusk, hearing crickets. Soon the katydids will start to sing. I will go back to the living room in a moment and continue working on each box, each object. It’s a slow process, this clearing.
I discovered that the ceiling has fallen in in the bedroom closet upstairs. I was going to store some things away from mice there, but there is a new mess. Later it occurred to me that I can poke the rest of the plaster off the ceiling in there, let it crash down, clean it all up and then use the closet. Nothing wrong with the lath, and there will be nothing more to come down. Problem solved.
Yet another project, but it will provide an eventual solution to the stuff I’m removing from the LR that has no other place to go yet.
I really need an armoire.
BH was feeling really sick last night (as we were texting) and I ended up sending distance Reiki to him. Today he was feeling much better. I hadn’t sent Reiki in a long time, and I felt the surge after invoking the symbols. The power isn’t diminished. Part of my motivation for clearing half the LR is to set up the table and start doing more on myself. I need to get it back into use.
Then last night was charged with dreams. I’m not sure if one was a lucid dream or an OOBE, but I was flying at night, flying charged, supremely awake and aware. I don’t remember many details but I haven’t been that lucid in many, many months.
In another I was telling Rose that BH was like the character of “Q” in Star Trek. I was ardently explaining that Q was a highly evolved being that would show up unexpectedly in Picard’s life, and force him to reevaluate the way his world worked. And yesterday I mentioned to BH that Rose appreciated him more than he knew, and he kept wanting to know what I meant by that. I told him that she appreciated laughing fit to bust, in the midst of so many commitments and being so busy. In truth, the way she put it to me before she left for Africa, was that she missed that kind of unbounded silliness in her relationship with Karl. I wasn’t about to spell this out to BH. He doesn’t need to know any details of the trouble in River City.
But the dream – it seems that, indeed, BH is the one who comes along and shines a light on her significant relationship and illuminates what she does not get from it. It doesn’t mean it’s not a satisfactory relationship. It’s just something that makes her aware. He makes her reevaluate the way her world is put together.
And then today I found the notebook in which I had written down Turtle (shaman in training)’s predictions about House – nearly a year before I bought it. I should invite him here to look at it. Lezley and I thought he was a well-meaning but misguided guide, but maybe he was hooked into something after all. It might be interesting to hear his impressions of the place while walking around here.
Well, I had more to say than I thought. There is more underneath, unrest and sadness and a wishing to be held. But there is no one, so I will go work on the living room for now.
Healer, Musician, Bookmaker, Poet 
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